In the year 3000, man is no match for the Psychlos, a manipulative race of aliens on a quest for global domination. Led by the seductive and powerful Terl (Travolta), the Psychlos have taken all natural resources for themselves and left mankind behind to
Shockingly bad, yet unmissable, adaptation of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard's cult novel; Super Thetan John Travolta sticks it to Xenu and those giant teddy bears in a reckless act of religious devotion, not to worry: John shall return, he always does, but 'Battlefield Earth' is, thankfully, one of a kind. Hubbard's competent, if workmanlike, pot boiler chronicles the fledgling human resistance against imperial alien rule in the year 3000 A.D. Johnny Goodboy, played with a discernable air of embarrassment by Barry Pepper, leads a primitive human race to rediscover old talents like hunting, flying a spaceship and platting your own ponytail. I mean, its bad enough that Barry's named after a condiment, but then to take 'Saving Private Ryan's' God fearing sniper and put him up against giant, overacting aliens with Amy Winehouse hair and a penchant for day-glow beverages, is just cruel & unusual. Meanwhile, John Travolta puts in a so-bad-its-good performance of bombastic absurdity as evil Psychlo leader Terl. Why Travolta, usually the epitome of cool, feels the need to ham it up to such an extent is as much of a mystery as his secretive faith, though I did find myself reviewing one scene just to see his take on a villainous laugh: "HA HA HA" (I kid you not), in fact, almost every Psychlo scene is excellent; with Travolta turning in the unintentional comedic performance of the century. His acting style in this movie is like nothing you've ever seen before, its like Bill Shatner on 'The Transformed Man' album meets Stewie Griffin from 'Family Guy', line after overacted line makes for priceless entertainment; and when a Psychlo woman (played by John's wife Kelly Preston) extends her extraordinarily long tongue and promises to make Terl "As happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of Ferbangoes!" you know you've left the land of the sane. Laugh, as an understandably bemused Forrest Whittaker grimaces his way through the picture as Terl's right-hand-Psychlo Kerr, cry as 'Battlefield Earth' unfolds at a mind-numbingly slow pace with no mercy for any viewer foolish enough to think they can last the course. They rarely make films this bad anymore, just occasional blips of mediocrity on the flat-line of an industry in decline, so in a way; 'Battlefield Earth' is probably the last good 'bad movie' ever made. Amazingly bad on so many levels that it traverses its own banality and becomes a must see. Incidentally, the Psychlos are psychiatrists, the great, extinct alien race called "Chinkos" are, well, you've guessed it and Johnny Goodboy represents all that was once decent about white America. Now where's that wide-eyed woman with the clipboard? Break out your E-Meter love, and lets get those Psychlo scum, alternatively, I'll just give you all my money for the rest of my life, your choice.
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Earth 3000 and there are no longer any countries or cities. The planet is now a wasteland and man has been taken over by the Psychlos, an alien race bent on global domination. The Pyschlos, led by Terl (John Travolta), have taken all of mankind's natural resources leaving humanity to rot. But one man, Tyler, has decided to make a stand against these aliens and show them that mankind is not dead yet.
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