Latest Reviews

  • Kissed [1997]
    Josh Hurtado 29 May 2007

    Why the world isn't populated with more films about necrophilia, I'll never know. For now we have a very few to choose from, nearly all are blood-soaked gore fests, this, however is not the case for Kissed. Lynne Stopkewich's debut feature was an odd choice, but inspired in its execution, no pun intended. The story centers around a twenty-something girl whose life long obsession with death has led her to pursue a career in mortuary sciences. She is an undertaker. Her closeness with her charges, the stiffs, evolves in short order into one night stands of a most unusual sort. She befriends a living boy who falls madly for her, and unfortunately for them both, she finds she cannot return his affection. As I mentioned before I've never seen a film to treat necrophilia in such an unspectacular fashion, and it is that unexploitive element that makes this a film worth watching. The audience finds itself sympathizing with our protagonist who likes to diddle the dead. I found myself actually wishing the live gent would give up, because he was not what she wanted and everyone watching the film knew it. The ending is a bit predictable, but still satisfying. Anyone who decides to break into the movie industry by making a romantic feature about necrophilia has my vote. Don't rent Kissed if you're looking for blood, but if you're looking for a different sort of indie film, this might be up your alley.

  • The Thing [1982]
    David Sewell 28 May 2007

    Hugely atmospheric John Carpenter remake of the old Howard Hawks classic 'The Thing From Another World'. Workers at an American scientific research outpost in Antarctica find themselves battling a parasitic alien organism capable of perfectly imitating its victims. The problem is they don't know which members of the team have already been assimilated. Carpenter ramps the tension and paranoia up to an unbearably claustrophobic level.
    As ever Carpenter brings out the best in Kurt Russell (as he did in Escape from New York & Big Trouble in Little China) and there are excellent performances from the large supporting cast. It is also worth noting that not one female appears in this movie!
    The 80 minute 'Terror Takes Shape' documentary gives a thorough insight into the planning, production and legacy of the film. It really is a fine documentary.
    The best extra of all though is the commentary from Carpenter and Russell. They have a blast sitting and watching the movie and their enthusiasm is infectious. I've listened to a lot of audio commentaries and this one remains the most entertaining and informative.
    Wonderful movie, excellent performances and an excellent DVD with fine extras. If you have'nt seen it you're missing a treat. Buy it now!

  • Rubber Johnny - Chris Cunningham
    Erin Britton 28 May 2007

    Freaky and amusing, this six minute music video/film from Chris Cunningham provides a snapshot into the life of Johnny, a strangely mutanedt wheelchair-bound child with shape-shifting capabilities who is kept locked in a dark basement with only his warped imagination and a terrified dog for company. Disturbing and undeniably original, Rubber Johnny has to be seen to be believed. The film is brilliantly packaged and comes complete with a 42 page book (the first available in the UK) of Cunningham"s original artwork and shocking photography.

  • The Pursuit Of Happyness [2006]
    Neil Baber 28 May 2007

    Great film - Will Smith shows in this true story what can be done by putting your mind to it. He depicts very well many of the problems, hardships and obstacles that Chris Gardner had to overcome in real life to become a stockbroker on Wall Street. Captivating and inspirational.

  • He-Man And She-Ra - A Christmas Special
    Erin Britton 28 May 2007

    It"s not quite The Greatest Story Ever Told but He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special has a certain seasonal je ne sais quoi that is missing from other Christmas offerings. As well as being a fifty minute toy advert, the film spins a heart-warming yarn about faith, redemption, and the importance of the holiday spirit. He-Man"s token irritating sidekick Orko (he"s drawn without a mouth or feet to make things easier to animate - how"s that for nifty 80s efficiency?) is transported to Earth following a malfunction of He-Man"s new spy satellite and meets two (so wholesome they"re positively nauseating) children, Alisha and Miguel. The kids have just enough time to explain the spirit of Christmas to Orko before all three are rescued/kidnapped by the crafty engineering skills of Man-At-Arms. Once on Eternia, the kid"s constant prattling about Christmas manages to annoy Horde Prime (a baddie who was apparently to evil to be featured in the TV series), who sends Skeletor and She-Ra"s arch-enemy Hordak in a phallic helicopter to capture them. The kids are certainly popular on Eternia as, next thing you know, they are captured by the Monstroids, machines capable of transformations not unlike the characters from another popular 80s series. The kids are rescued by the Manchines only to be kidnapped once more by Skeletor and led on a Duke of Edinburgh style hike across an icy tundra. Unfortunately, Skeletor, suffering from both an infection of the Christmas Spirit and a strange attraction to a little blue Manchine puppy, does not kill the children but in fact gives them nice warm coats and saves them from Horde Prime. He-Man and She-Ra were obviously feeling like having a light day rescue-wise as they stroll in at the end, get festively dressed for a highly camp Christmas party and then transport the kids back to Earth and their parents just in time for the big day. Considering its incredibly low production costs (just how many times can they run past the same bit of scenery?), this DVD comes with a hefty selection of special features including documentaries, a music video, character profiles, and a montage of morals(!).

  • The Omen [1976]
    Paul Williams 28 May 2007

    "Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast; for it is the number of a man; and his number is 666."
    The Omen is a classic horror film from the 70s,from it's frightening soundtrack to it's fascinating and terrifying story,this film never fails to deliver.
    It tells the tale of an American ambassador,Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck) and his wife Kathy (Lee Remick) who having lost a baby at birth,illegally adopt a baby in an italian hospital and pass it off as their own.
    From the start strange portents and signs show that this baby - Damien,is no ordinary child and soon The Thorns' come to realise that their little boy is the son of The Devil and nothing or nobody will get in the way of Damien and his destiny.
    From killer dogs to killer nannies,The Omen is am atmospheric and frightening experience and one that is highly recommended,give it a try today!

  • Weird Science [1985]
    Erin Britton 28 May 2007

    John Hughes is truly the uncrowned king of the 80s having produced the decade defining canon of Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, and Ferris Bueller"s Day Off. While the others concentrate more on the realistic exploits of the folk of Shermer, Illinois, Weird Science joyfully kisses reality goodbye as teen nerds Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) attempt to achieve popularity through dodgy computer hacking, a touch of voodoo, and an unusual amount of time spent with bras on their heads. Taking their inspiration from Doctor Frankenstein, Gary and Wyatt manage to create an ideal woman in Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), a beauty whose magical powers soon prove to be more than they bargained on. Soon the boys have to contend with more than just fledgling popularity, as a house party gets crashed by evil mutant revellers and the odd thermo nuclear weapon, just as Wyatt"s grandparents decide to visit and older brother Chet undergoes a mutation of his own. This film (but possibly not the fashions featured in it) has truly stood the test of time and is as hilarious now as it was on release, although it would have been nice if the DVD had more in the way of special features.

  • A Kid For Two Farthings
    michael anthony rutt 28 May 2007

    "A Kid For Two Farthings" is a fascinating fable of childhood innocence colourfully set in Fashion Street in 1950's East End of London and features a bevy of outstanding acting from the cream of British talent flourishing at the time
    Masterfully directed by Carol Reed,who gave us the unforgettable"The Third Man","Oliver"and "The Fallen Idol",the movie stars David Kossof,Celia Johnson,Diana Dors,Jonathan Ashmore and Joe Robinson and also has notable cameos from Sid James,Vera Day and Brenda de Banzie.
    Actually photographed in London,s Petticoat Lane,this magical story of hope,love and fortune is a veritable treasure trove of enjoyment suitable for all your family members.
    Diana Dors never looked more alluringly attractive as heroine Sonia and her promising perfomance led the following year to her supreme acting achievement in the bleak and highly dramatic"Yield to the Night"( a stunning example of British cinema at its zenith,which still curiously has had no official dvd release?)
    The clever screenplay is penned by writer supreme Wolf Mankowitz and was deserving of every accolade which came its way on the film,s release in 1955.
    Only recently released for the first time on region 2,
    this charming little gem truly deserves a place in any self respecting dvd fan,s collection and is definitely one which I shall enjoy watching time and again and a disc of which I shall purchase extra copies for friends and family,s birthday and christmas presents.
    Highly recommended!!!

  • The New World [2005]
    Kashif Ahmed 28 May 2007

    1607 A.D. was the year European colonialists cheated Native American Indians out of house and home in a protracted series of violent land grabs. Marauding troupes of predominantly English fanatics were sent forth and ordered to begin armed aggressions in Tenakomakah, Virginia. Not all the settlers were villains, but all did partake in the unbridled villainy of imperial conquest.
    Terrence Malick's 'The New World' chronicles these early years of imperialism, whilst skilfully depicting the famous, though historically questionable, love affair between explorer Captain John Smith (Colin Farrell at his moody, mumbling best) and enigmatic Native American Powhatan Pocahontas (an impressive debut by teen starlet Q'orianka). After things go sour with Smith, Pocahontas is taken hostage by the colonists, wooed, baptised and renamed Rebecca by pioneering tobacco farmer Captain John Roffe (a small but memorable role for Christian Bale), who whisks the naïve native off to England to meet King James I (he owns the Bible, you know).
    'The New World's' cinematography and elliptical, visual storytelling are second to none, for just as Malick bought the lush, fertile plains of war torn Japan to life in 'The Thin Red Line', so too, does he brilliantly capture and allow you to soak up the atmosphere of the Americas. The sights, sounds and captivating serenity of this unspoilt vista only serves to sensitise us to the imperialist's treachery and barbaric takeover. One could argue that attempts made to equate Pocahontas's arrival in England as a fulfilment of her spiritual journey, are either unreliable repetitions culled from colonial-era biographies, or simply refer to a young woman fulfilled by the joys of motherhood, suggesting the 'Mother's home' is the land of her family, and not necessarily her home-land.
    'The New World', though made to the highest possible standards, feels like an incomplete masterpiece: A potential classic stymied by unbelievably poor editing, which renders parts of the film incomprehensible or frustratingly amateurish. And though Malick's films tend to focus on creating atmosphere, encouraging viewers to get a feel for the time and immerse themselves in the period, that's still no excuse for the manner in which this film darts about. A style that may've worked to convey man's forced disassociation with humanity in war but proves annoying in a film that wants to paint a bigger picture. For example; Christian Bale's character simply appears out of the blue with only thirty-five minutes left (the film is 135 minutes long, which still feels too short to accurately convey the scope of the story) whilst his journey back to England by sea, which we're informed ought to take four months, seems to occur at light-speed with all the passengers as fresh & fragrant as when they first boarded.
    Pocahontas lived up to the meaning of her nickname: "playful frolicsome girl". An endearing ditz who barely made it out of her teens before being tragically struck down by TB in England, tempted away from her roots by wealthy opportunists who'd acquired their riches through the destruction and plunder of a great many civilisations. Powhatan princess Matoaka Pocahontas was, like Marie in Brian Friel's 'Translations', an adventurous innocent, and I imagine the guilt of collaboration isn't fully explored on screen, because she never truly understood the settler's intentions to lord it over her people. For when Captain Smith goes native, his voiceover informs us that: "...they are gentle, loving, faithful; lacking in all guile and trickery, they have no jealously, no sense of possession: real, what I thought a dream".
    Its interesting to note that whilst America's native tribes were, according to some, primitive heathens, out of all the other civilisations they'd encountered centuries before 1492 (i.e. Phoenicians, Arabs, North-Africans and Turkmen) only Europeans tried to
    enslave, convert or kill them. Malick doesn't dwell on the fact that Pocahontas was shamelessly lauded about England as "the good native"; exploited, abused, discarded and resurrected as a reinvented caricature; a mysterious, sensual icon held aloft in an unconvincing attempt to justify the avaricious terrorism of an Empire. And that's another flaw; one has to go back and do a lot of research to fully understand what became of certain characters and how events bought them together. Oliver Stone had a similar problem with 'Alexander' in that for the viewer to truly appreciate what was going on, they had to have some prior knowledge. I hope 'Criterion' releases an extended and re-edited edition of this fine film, for if you have the patience to take this picture on its own merits, and watch it in the right frame of mind, you'll come away with a unique visual insight into the Americas as they were. 'The New World', in spite of some historical, technical and narrative flaws, is definitely worth discovering.

  • Rescue Me - Season 2
    Matt 27 May 2007

    This series just seems to get better and better.The first series showed how good a concept this was and how well it was possible to deal with such a sensitive topic of 9/11 with the ability to make you laugh out loud in one scene and silence you with the events in the next scene.
    The second series continues much in the same vein with Tommy starting where he left off transferred to Statten Island due to his affair with one of the 9/11 widows. Soon enough he is back with the old crew and all the plot lines that were developed in the first series continue as it is not just Tommy's life which has it's problems with the plot lines revolving around the chief's wife suffering from alzhiemers and Shay's life seemingly happy life at the end of series 1 falling apart around him during series 2.
    The series continues to have it's hilarious moments as Tommy's visions become more elaborate and he has a very famous visitor in some of them,however the series ends in absolute devastation for Tommy and I can't wait for series 3 to become available to see what more can be done in this show as it shows no signs of becoming tired. Definitely one to buy.

  • Saw 3 [2006]
    Josh Hurtado 27 May 2007

    The first Saw film was something unusual, a serial killer who never actually kills anyone himself, instead relying on his victims cowardice to do it for him. Saw 2 was a typical slasher sequel with more victims and a more convoluted storyline. Saw 3 attempts to scale back the story a bit, but not too much. The film focuses on a few main characters, including Jigsaw's protege and his grooming process. While I think that this film had potential, it seemed to be too interested in providing the audience with Grand Guignol style setpieces than substance. Don't get me wrong, I love a good gore scene as much as the next guy, but I was missing something in the way of motivation to finish watching the film. The film has its twists and it dumps all of them on you in the final 15 minutes, I believe my head was supposed to be spinning, but I had figured all of the twists out in advance. In the end, Saw 3 has become what true horror buffs lament, a setup. It is a setup for Saw 4, which will in turn become a setup for Saw 5, on and on, ad infinitum. I'll keep watching, because I think the series and the premise has promise, but I don't expect to be shocked like I was the first time ever again.

  • Crash [1996]
    Josh Hurtado 27 May 2007

    Sex & car crashes. That certainly sums up the film, however, it is about more than that. This 1996 film is one of David Cronenberg's first forays into "reality", though not a common one. Crash has no oozing monsters nor any of the other tools of his trade as the king of body horror. The horror in this film comes from within the psyche of some of its inhabitants. James Spader as a sexually indiscriminate producer happens across a mangled and braced Holly Hunter one day in a car entertaining herself. He finds himself drawn to her and is sucked into a world of sexual fetishism he's never experienced, the fetish of deriving sexual pleasure from watching and being involved in car crashes and fetishising the wounds they create. It is really unlike any film you'll ever see. I quite enjoyed this film and, like I said, as Cronenberg dips his toe into the real world, I think I has found that the water is fine and this set the stage for subsequent films like Spider and A History Of Violence. Well worth watching for the more adventurous viewer and any fan of Cronenberg's.

  • Clerks 2 [2006]
    Kashif Ahmed 27 May 2007

    'American Dad's' Stan Smith once said to Roger: "You're the Adam Sandler of this family, and we don't want 'Punch Drunk Love', just give us 'The Waterboy' and be done with it!" one imagines Kevin Smith's most trusted advisors imparting similar advice in 2004, after the bearded auteur's rom-com misfire 'Jersey Girl'. And though the Affleck, Tyler, Lopez film wasn't that bad, especially by conventional Hollywood standards, it still didn't look or sound like the work of the same guy who'd bought us 'Chasing Amy' or 'Dogma'. In many ways, we (the fans) were to Smith what Randal is to Dante in this movie, it was our refusal to engage with any film that didn't feature the recognizable motifs from the New Jersey Saga (1994-2001) that forced him to return to his roots. Trying to write a sequel for an undisputed cult classic and one of the defining pictures of the 1990s (along with 'Office Space' and 'Reality Bites') was never going to be an easy task. After all, the whole thing smacks of a desperate 180 back into a universe the writer/director claimed he'd leave forever: for 'Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back' was widely touted as the last hurrah for the old 'Viewaskew' gang, and wasn't the sight of Randle Randling off into the sunset a fitting conclusion (unlike the hilariously inappropriate Dante-gets-shot ending) for our slacker heroes?
    Thankfully 'Clerks 2', though slight & often repetitive, is funny enough not to tarnish the memory of its predecessor, and by the time 'The New And Improved' Jay and Silent Bob start up their shtick, Smith fans, like his protagonists, will find themselves in a safe and familiar place. 'Clerks 2' skilfully manages to pick up the story of cashiers Randal (Jeff Anderson) & Dante (Brian O'Halloran) 13 years on, making this a film about second, third and forth chances, fleshing out Randal's character whilst focusing on another relationship dilemma for Dante. The famously lazy director, known for his lack of camera movements, also makes a point of using exceptionally bright and colourful sets in stark and deliberate stylistic contrast to the black & white original. Good performances all round, look out for a cute cameo by Smith's daughter and I suppose a special mention ought to go out to the director's wife Jennifer Schwalbach who, considering she's not an actress, puts in a halfway decent performance in a rather awkward and thankless role. Jeff Anderson proves yet again that he's a rare comedic genius, his war of words in a 'Star Wars' vs. 'Lord Of The Rings' debate is vintage Smith, and though we're treated to cameos from 'Chasing Amy' alumni Jason Lee & Ben Affleck, I would've liked to have seen more references to the original, perhaps an update on accidental necrophiliac Caitlin Bree or Alyssa's sister Heather Jones. For all its expected vulgarity (no worse than the 'American Pie' movies) 'Clerks 2' is actually a sweet story about friendship, modern life and the choices we make. I hope Smith continues to pen his distinctive dialogue for new characters, personally, I'd love to see him write more NJ stories, never retire Jay & Silent Bob and reunite the killer duo of Affleck & Lee, or to put it another way: Snooch to the motherf***ing nootch. Bong!

  • The Pursuit Of Happyness [2006]
    Vic Gour 26 May 2007

    Based on a true story this is one of the best films that I have seen. Top marks for Will Smith acting as Chris Gardner along with his Son. This film is truly as inspiration of a Man and Son who went through a lot of hardship. The Director (Gabriele Muccino) illustrated the reality and emotions of the life Chris Gardner. 10 out 10 for quality. Very well made film.

  • Life On Mars: Series 1
    Susannah Deuk 23 May 2007

    Not another police drama I thought, and I was right! It is nothing like the other police dramas that are on tv. Come with me back to the 1970s and Sam Tyler (who was in the middle of investigating his fiance's disappearance in the present day) has mysteriously been transported back there after a 'hit and run' accident. The episodes in this first series cover his coming to terms with life in the 1970s and trying to figure out why he is there and issues such as meeting people he knows - eg his mother as she was. On top of all this he has to learn to deal with the way that his colleagues tackle crime and especially his boss's attitude, as well as cracking cases. He does make a female friend and there is an obvious romance there, although they never quite get it together. At the end of the series it seems like he will find the reason why he is there, but he doesn't return to the future as he expects too, leaving it open for the second series. It is a fantastic bit of drama and the relationship between the charcters make for some explosive scenes. Every episode is watchable and enjoyable and I would highly recommend this to just about everyone - enjoy.

  • Love Actually [2003]
    Susannah Deuk 23 May 2007

    'Love Actually' is a film about, well love. There are no hidden messages, no subliminal ideas - it is just simply a movie that shows you aspects of love through the various characters lives that is designed to leave you feeling great and to show that 'love actually is all around'. The fact that it is set in the run up to Christmas just adds to the build up of happy emotions. The characters were originally set to be in separate sketches but Richard Curtis decided to amalgamate them into one interwoven film. You would think that a film just based on characters falling in love (he has also thrown in an affair and an unrequited love) would be incredibly boring but actually although it is a simple storyline it is the ultimate in feel good movies and if it doesn't leave you smiling on the inside then you haven't watched the same film as me. This is a must see film for Christmas Lovers.

  • Kind Hearts And Coronets [1949]
    Erin Britton 22 May 2007

    "I shot an arrow in the air; she fell to earth in Berkeley Square". Of all the excellent Ealing comedies, Kind Hearts and Coronets, a side splittingly funny tale of the merits of getting ahead in life through murdering your relatives, is undoubtedly my favourite. Dennis Price plays Louis, a young man raised in poverty after his mother was spurned by her wealthy D"Ascoyne family for choosing to marry an Italian. (Seemingly an Italian with a weak constitution for he drops dead the moment he claps eyes on his new baby son). After Louis loses his fiancée to a wealthier man, he decides to improve his social standing by bumping off all the relatives that stand between him and a dukedom. Alec Guinness delivers a tour de force performance as all of the unfortunate relatives, ranging from dotty vicar to an ugly suffragette to a pigheaded admiral, who meet their deaths through a series of increasingly bizarre incidents (drifting boats, exploding labs, battleships sailing into one another). This film is nearly fifty years old but the wit is still shape and the humour of the highest order.

  • Stranger Than Fiction [2006]
    Kevin Stanley 22 May 2007

    Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) is a normal guy that wakes up one morning with a very strange condition - he has an internal monologue. His whole life is being narrated upon by a woman"s voice inside his head - but more accurately and with a better vocabulary than he himself could manage. And no matter what Harold does he can"t quite shake it, that feeling of being watched, being followed, that feeling that he might just becoming schitzophrenic.
    Emma Thompson plays the washed-up and washed-out writer Kay Eiffel. Sitting in her white-walled empty office as a desk a single telephone in the corner and only and a plant for company. Tired and fuelled entirely by black coffee and cigarettes she"s a mess and although she"s a world renowned writer she hasn"t had a published book in years. Her problem is writer"s block. She can"t figure out how to finish her book. But she does know one thing. She intends to kill off her central character - one certain Harold Crick.
    Harold meanwhile is figuring a few things out in the puzzle and visits a literacy professor (Dustin Hoffman) who happens to be a huge fan of Eiffel"s novels. Harold"s first task is to figure out whether the story that he appears to be the protagonist of is a comedy or a tragedy - which is clearly fairly important to the eventual outcome and his personal fate.
    Thompson is a delight as novelist, Eiffel, world-weary and worn out she handles the character nuances beautifully. With support from Maggie Gyllenhaal - as Ana Pascal the baker that Crick falls in love with - who is as lovable as ever.
    But it"s Ferrell who steals the movie, reining in all of his usual over-the-top antics and mannerisms, pulling off a masterly and mesmeric straight performance - perhaps one of which he never seemed capable. There"s no doubt that Ferrell rarely fails to be funny in his movies, but just as when Jim Carrey stopped being silly and began to act for real in serious films, the change in Ferrell here from earlier works is a revelation.
    A delightful and fresh movie, besides a couple of slightly lazy plot clichés, Stranger Than Fiction is perfect.

  • Ghost Rider [Extended]
    Kevin Stanley 22 May 2007

    I'm a huge fan of Nicolas Cage and Nicolas Cage is a huge fan of the comic book Ghost Rider. So this seemed like a good film for me to see. However mostly due to a 12 rating I was disappointed.
    After years of torment over whether he would get to put on the red and blue cape of Superman, Nicolas Cage found that he was never to play the role that he most desired. Now instead of the Man of Steel, Cage gets a chance to play his second favourite comic book character in the shape of ghost rider.
    Johnny Blaze is a man cursed by the Devil to become his ghost rider and to deal out the angel of death"s fury on the living. Every night the ghost rider hunts down the unjust and burns them with his penance stare. But will he warm the heart of his long-lost love along the way and avenge his father"s death?
    Ghost Rider could have been an excellent film in the mould of The Punisher but it sold out to appeal to teenagers instead of being true to the roots of the comic book and being more violent and more adult. What we get is a laughable anti-hero with a flaming skull and a film that is neither for teenagers nor adults.

  • Batman - The Movie [1966]
    Erin Britton 21 May 2007

    "Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!". This film was originally intended to be the pilot for the 1960s high camp Batman series starring Adam West and Burt Ward but, following the success of the first series of the TV show, was re-jigged and given a high budget (to pay for all the fantastic Bat-gadgets) for a cinema release. "Some days you just can"t get rid of a bomb!". The four most prolific villains from the series - Cesar Romero as the Joker, Burgess Meredith as the Penguin, Frank Gorshin as the Riddler, and Lee Meriwether (Julie Newmar being otherwise engaged) as Catwoman - have teamed up to form The United Criminal Underworld and are intent on achieving world domination through an ingenious plan to dehydrate the United World Security Council. Can the Dynamic Duo stop the dastardly machinations of the four most deadly villains the world has ever seen? Can anyone truly comprehend the nobility of the almost-human porpoise? Can Batman"s tights get any tighter?